Pan-Am Internet Services

(Yet Another) Canadian Plot to Take Over the USA

19 AUG 2002 by Gordon Fecyk, Pan-Am Internet Services

"Canada is an enemy of the United States because they harbor a known cyber-terrorist..."
If Rob only knew...

I WAS SHOCKED to learn that Rob Rosenberger declared Canada a Cyber-Enemy of the United States of America! For harbouring a dangerous cyber-terrorist no less! I'm not making this up - listen to Rosenberger's audio clip about a quarter of the way through, when he rattles off his list of thirty country names. To quote:

[MP3 Audio]Canada is an enemy of the United States because they harbor a known felon - they harbor a cyber-terrorist by the name of Mafiaboy. And Canada, I should note, is so pro-cyber-terrorist that they will not even tell us the name of Mafiaboy, because it's illegal for them to tell us the name of cyber-terrorists.

Do take this quote in context. But if he only knew the truth... that our Armed Forces are preparing for cyber-war...

"No experience necessary. Earn a full time salary while learning a trade in the military."
Don't worry about your tax dollars. It's all part of our master plan.


YES, THE CANADIAN ARMED FORCES are secretly training an elite squad of über-hackers! See for yourself in this HRDC Job Bank posting:

Job Profile
Advertisement number: 58429
Title: Computer networks manager (No Experience Necessary (215)) (NOC: 0213)
Terms of Employment: Permanent, Full Time, Shift
Salary: $2,197.00 Monthly for 40 hours per week, Other Benefits
Anticipated Start Date: As soon as possible
Location: London, Ontario (300 vacancies)
Skill Requirements:
Education: Some high school, Other: Minimum grade 10 completed.
Experience: No experience, Other: Earn a full time salary while learning a trade in the military.
Languages: Speak English, Speak French, Other: Must be functional in one Canada's two official languages.
Other Information: You will join as a uniformed member of the Canadian Forces. Employment is NOT in the local area and will vary Nationally/Internationally approx every 3 to 5 years. 20 paid vacation days per year for the first 5 years and 25 days a year thereafter. Full med/dent benefits. Basic military training provided. Approx $5000.00 a year raise for first 3 years. Starting salary for the rank of Corporal(4th year) is approx $43,000 a year. Must be a Canadian Citizen age 17 to 51.Min 3 year contract offered
Employer: Canadian Forces Recruiting
How to Apply:
In Person between 8:30 and 16:00:

451 Talbot Street
London , Ontario
N6A 5C9
By Phone between 8:30 and 16:00:

(800) 856-8488
Business Profile: Canadian Forces Recruiting Centre London (ON).
Web Site: www.jointheforces.com
Advertised until: 2002/09/01
This job advertisement has been provided by an employer external to HRDC. HRDC is not responsible for the accuracy, the currency and the reliability of the content.

See? They even admit that you won't be working in your local area! Even now they are continuing to recruit young naïve computer nerds. Don't let the fancy graphics and confusing job description fool you. They want to recruit cyber-soldiers, not IT staff. For all I know, Mafiaboy could be their commanding officer!

Will they defend our nation's spammers? Look at the contact information for some of those networks... Winnipeg, Manitoba?
oops, I can't visit any of the sites there. I'll bet one of those cyber-soldiers are responsible. Maybe they have their priorities straight after all.


NOW WHY WOULD OUR ARMED FORCES be spending our hard earned tax dollars on such a diabolical plot? Surely it is to defend our homeland e-commerce against American corporations, or to protect our world-famous RCMP Musical Riders, or The Snowbirds, from the American FBI's National InternetInfrastructure Protection Center. Isn't it?

Would they even be going as far as to defend our nation's spammers from those anti-e-commerce radicals in the USA? I mean, look at the contact information for some of those networks. A major spam haven in my home town? And only footsteps away? I'm right in the line of fire! I hope our nation's fledgling cyber-forces are up to the task of protecting us from...

oops, I can't visit any of the sites there. I tried to trace the network route from my home to there, but it stopped short of my ISP's main gateway. This doesn't look like the work of an anti-e-commerce radical at all!

Wait, I'll bet one of those cyber-soldiers are responsible. It sure looks like an inside job - they must've infiltrated my ISP! And maybe they have their priorities straight after all. Join the Forces and fight spammers! Go Mafiaboy!

And don't worry about your tax dollars. It's all part of our master plan.

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